Sunday, April 6, 2008

Almost Home.....

I know that it has been a long time since I have blogged. I am sorry. I hope that this story will make up for the lack of postings. Its a good one!

This last Thursday after school Heidi called me and asked me if I wanted to take a walk. I had just finished up eating my delicious low point dinner of chicken burritos and didn't want to ruin my exercise streak so I told her I would be right over.
When I got there we put Mae and her cousin Ian in their stroller (much to their disliking) and started our brisk walk. We got about 6 blocks down the street when my stomach started rumbling. Uh oh! Just push through it Joy it will be fine. So we kept walking. After another 2 blocks the rumbling got worse. I was starting to wonder why I had eaten 2 Fiber One bars and burritos all in one day. STUPID CHOICE.

At this point in the walk I was not sure what was going to happen. I was pretty certain that there had to be some sort of intervention because there was no way I was going to make it back to the house in time! I told Heidi of my discomfort and told her we had to take quick action! We kept walking. My brisk pace was slowing down. Ahh. The stomach was still rumbling and I was starting to sweat a little. We passed by a school. I knew it would be locked but we still went to check. No luck. Then I saw my ray of hope a church building with cars! Yes! I would be saved. I quickly waddled over to the door. It was locked. I started banging on the door. No one came! CRAP!!!

Heidi then told me that there was a porta-potty at a park that was about 6 blocks away. Let's go! I said. It was at this point that I had to start my Lamaze breathing and told Heidi not to talk to me because I was focusing on not pooping my pants! I am not kidding. I was in so much pain. I was just about to face the facts and realize that I was going to be the first 25 year old to poop their pants when I saw the park. With sweat dripping down my face, tears in my eyes, and an earthquake in my stomach I took off towards my saving grace! Normally, I am running away from porta potties because I think they are nasty but today i was praising the man who decided to put a pot in the local Springville park. As I reached the door it said, "Almost Home" Let me tell you, I have never been more thankful to be almost home! It was a close call and I am glad I made it. It could have been UGLY!!
So.. lets use this as a learning experience and and eat responsibly! If you do choose to eat lots of fiber in one sitting you may want to wait a few hours before taking a walk. You may wonder to far away from home!

20 comments:

Lemme said...

It's everything I thought it would be...

heidizinha said...

it was unbelievable that you actually made it. i was sure you wouldn't.

it would have been okay if you hadn't though, because we got the app (adults who poop pants) club.

Emily said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

Alisa said...

That story was great! Fiber One bars make me the same way. Too bad they are so good.

Ashlee said...

That's hilarious! Thanks for sharing :)

Jennifer Nanci Lee said...

i love this story... and i love you!

Em and Jorg said...

Heheheharhar! Good story, good story. Kinda reminds me of Sandra Bullock in 2 Weeks Notice!

Amy Jorgensen said...

I just about fell off my chair. You are right, that was worth the wait. Fiber one bars are EVIL. They taste soooo nummy...it is hard to stop at one because you are thinking, "heh, this is good for me, AND I actually want to eat it", then...they turn on your and your insides start doing sommersaults and you want to die. So why does this story make me want to eat one? I'm hopeless.

Jenn said...

I love your story!!! Why, becuase I think something to that nature has happened to all of us but are too embarassed to talk about it. i LOVE that you told your story, Girl I can relate! ESPECIALLY when I had a parasite this summer. Parasites=NOT pretty stomach!!!!

Jenn said...

I love your story!!! Why, becuase I think something to that nature has happened to all of us but are too embarassed to talk about it. i LOVE that you told your story, Girl I can relate! ESPECIALLY when I had a parasite this summer. Parasites=NOT pretty stomach!!!!

Berkley, Meredith and Tanner said...

Joy, this story makes me love you that much more. I practically fell off my chair laughing. Love you!

SBTVD said...

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Multifuncional said...

Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Impressora e Multifuncional, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://impressora-multifuncional.blogspot.com. A hug.

heidizinha said...

what's the deal with the brazilians and calling your site "very likeable." they did it on mine too. and theirs is about printers? I don't get it.

KJ said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Allllll to vivid!

hey, want to move back in for the summer? i mean, your new roommates are probably insanely amazing and all, but I MISS you!

Amy said...

Hey, these comments about "your posts are very likable" are showing up all over blogger. I wouldn't click on them...I think they might have bad news on the other side. I think that is why my computer is acting up...be careful.

April said...

joy! i am so glad i found your blog! (thanks to kj) but sorry about your horrible experience! i hope we can keep in touch!

Scotty and Deb Edwards said...

I can't believe you said P**p. What has Utah done to you? I raised you better than that! Maybe it is time for a the Fiber One diversion program... or just a bar of soap for that naughty little mouth... as I recall, the soap has the same effect!

Your loving (and somewhat astonished) Father.

Mel said...

Too, too funny! And you got 18 comments!

Kris and Kally said...

Oh my goodness! This is classic! Sounds like something I would have done! Oh wait...I had to poop in the park with Meredith one time cause I couldn't hold it. God Bless the Porta Potties! LOVE YOU!